Cardio Box – October 10, 2009

Workout #38

When you wake up angry, there is no finer gift to give yourself than a whirlwind class of boxing-inspired aggression.  It was finally my turn to take the Cardio Box class today, and I am super glad that I did.  If you read my previous post then you know that I recently purchased a BodyBugg system to augment my workout and nutritional goals.  This class was only forty-five minutes long, but I was able to burn 374 calories during this brief time.  Incredible, right? 

This was another class taught by Vlad, who has quickly become one of my favorite instructors at the gym.  I don’t know if it’s his teaching style, or musical selections, or his completely unintentional double-meanings during the workouts, but I thoroughly enjoy being a student of his. 

We started out with a simple and quick warm-up, then moved into the basic moves that would set the tone for our session.  Jabs are described by some boxers as a quick way to get in a punch while testing the distance to your target.  Jabs are quick thrusts of your punching arm, and an equally quick return of your fist into a protective posture guarding your face from attack.  Jabs can be done singly, or in double time, or for as long as the person in front of you needs a beating. 

Next came hooks.  I like hooks.  Hooks are done when the opponent, or offender (depending on the scenario you like to imagine yourself in) is very close to you and there isn’t enough distance for a more powerful punch.  Think of this one as the round-house kick of punches.  After hooks we did some upper cuts, which is the move I like best because when someone is right up in your face you can come from underneath and sock ‘em one right under the chin.      Imagine the surprise!

Another good one is the cross punch, which is performed when your punching arm makes a motion across your chest to impact the opposite part of the opponent’s body.  So, where a jab with your right hand would end up on the left shoulder, say, of an aggressor, a cross with your right hand would end up punching the right shoulder of an assailant (or some idiot that needed their bell rung).  I think the cross might be the most powerful of the punches because you put your whole weight into it by pivoting your back foot as your arm extends. 

Once we mastered these punches we got to put them all together in a rapid-fire fury of punches that sounded something like this: “Ok now, GO!  Jab, jab, cross!  Hook then uppercut!  Jab, jab, cross, hook, then upper cut!  Hook, hook, upper, cross, jab, jab!”  If you weren’t careful, and you got a little too wild with the punches, it was easier than you’d think to end up punching yourself in the face.  Not that this happened to me…

Finally we graduated to some of the kicks, which were done in stages.  Vlad explained about chambering the foot, which means not leaving it hanging out there during a kicking motion so that the other guy can kick it, grab it, or break it.  If you keep it in the chamber then you have some protection from the knee and thigh.  It all goes so quickly though that you don’t have a lot of time to think about being in the chamber, you just do it.  We did side kicks, stomp kicks, jump kicks (anyone remember Karate Kid?), and round house kicks, all of which were great fun.   

The kicks were soon joined by the punches we had recently executed, and then one of my favorite little routines started.  In my head it sounded something like this (and remember that I woke up angry):  “Stand in defensive position, here comes that jerk, and he’s charging right at you.  Before he has a chance to say one more ridiculous thing, BAM!  You get him with a cross check.  He’s surprised, so he moves in closer and that’s when you hit him with two hooks; one on each side of his fool head.  As he’s shaking off the confusion you clock him one under the chin with your upper-cut.  He’s pinwheeling backward, but now he looks angry, and he’s trying to reverse directions and launch himself at you.  What’s a girl to do?  You grab him by the shirt collar as you drag his sorry self towards you in a downwards arcing motion, then you thrust your knee right up into his big, fat belly.  You hear the wind rush out of his lungs, and as he pitches forward in a last-ditch effort to throw his arms around your waist and tackle you, that’s when you hit him right between the shoulder blades with an elbow blow called The Pile Driver. Take that, Loser!  And if you ever come back here, you’ll get more of the same!”  [Insert appropriate western-themed music, and brush the dust off your leather jacket.]   This whole sequence was great, and was a wonderful opportunity to work out some tension.

Lastly, we were to get a partner for some virtual sparring.  No one actually hit each other, but we did practice throwing punches and doing some kicks with a real person standing in front of us.  This part had me in hysterics at one point, so it was almost like free therapy.  Before I had a chance to say, “Thank you sir, I’ll have another,” class had ended.  The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

Description of the class from the catalog:  “A combination of punches, jabs and kicks along with intervals of jumping rope, push-ups, plyometrics and/or abdominal crunches. No equipment is necessary.”

Duration of class:  forty-five minutes

Class size:  22

What you should know:  You do not need any prior boxing experience to enjoy this class.  Bring some water and a face towel and then just listen to the instructor as he guides you through easy-to-follow choreography.

Calories burned:  374

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